An Enlightening Visit Home

August 27, 2008 at 3:21 AM (Friends, Musings) ()

“You need a boy to be so incredibly thrilled to have you, and so proud, that he will climb to the top of a mountain or building and scream that he is in love with you.  He needs to scream it so loud that I can hear him, and follow him to the top of that mountain, and push him off . . . because I’m not sharing you.”

This was the type of reality check I needed as I revisted my home town for a couple days before returning to the daily grind.  I was lucky enough to meet up with my three best friends from grade school and high school (separately – our schedules didn’t match up that conveniently), and we all got to catch each other up on everything – school, work, friends, family, significant others, extracurriculars.  As could be expected, relationships was popular topic.  Two of my friends had just gotten out of relationships, and of course I had to get them up to speed regarding what I had (or had not, rather) experienced in the nine months since I’d seen them last.  We all appreciated being able to share every gruesome incident and every delicious detail with one another without fear of it getting back to another party involved.  At the same time it was great to get brutally honest feedback.  A new friend may try to spare your feelings when it comes to talking about your problems.  A friend who knows you better, I’ve found, will not hesitate to ask you, “What’s wrong with you!?”  And why are we so harsh with each other?  Because we really DO give a crap, that’s why.  If we keep trying to spare each other’s feelings, our situations can only continue to spiral into a deeper state of chaos.  I can’t fix a problem if I don’t think I have one.  If my friends simply yes me as I sift through all the favourable options, I’m not going to be as likely to face the negative options.  Luckily, we’ve all known each other long enough, and have been through enough, that we can be comfortable enough to tell it like it is, or may be, without fear of the whiplash of denial.  On the contrary, if my friends are telling me something I don’t want to consider, they are providing me with all the more reason to consider it.

Tomorrow I go back to my glamorous city-living, but it’s good to know that I’ll be bringing some homestyle reality with me.

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